Humorous Moments from Breastfeeding Moms

Lop-Sided submitted by Carrie H.

I had my daughter the first of September in 2005. If you remember, that's right after Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans and the surrounding areas. I was so happy to have Janie, but breastfeeding was a mystery to me. I never knew if she was full, or how much she was eating from each breast. Like a lot of babies, her hours were all mixed up, and we stayed up most nights watching the news channels covering the destruction in New Orleans. I wasn't paying as much attention to Janie and how long she was at each breast while I cried with emotions that I had neverfelt before! Well, as a few days passed,my husband looked at me one day and started to laugh! He noticed before I did that one of my breasts were bigger than the other! My dear daughter was being well fed, but only by one breast!

 

Breastfeeding All Over the World submitted by Candice B.

Here is my story: *dramatic pause*. When my first baby was 7 weeks old, I returned to my job which required me to move back to Laos, Southeast Asia. The first week back, I was showing some visitors around an indoor/outdoor market and my baby was really really fussy. I took all of his clothes off, hoping he was hot and it would help. He continued to cry, so finally out of desperation I decided to kneel in an alley to nurse him. A CD seller in the market saw me and insisted that I sit in her booth. The "booth" was about 2 feet deep and 7 feet wide...just big enough for a stool behind a counter and a vertical wall of CD's for sale. I sat on the stool and tried to get my baby to discretely latch on. My baby was overwrought by now and would not latch on. In an effort to "help" me, the CD booth lady decided she would hold my shirt for me, only she held it WAY UP, about chin level. At that same moment I was aware of a small crowd of southeast Asians gathering to see what an American breast looked like. They DEFINITELY got to see EVERYTHING. My baby never did latch so finally the CD lady took him from me and he instantly fell asleep in her arms. It was pretty embarrassing at the time but now it is one of my favorite stories. I went on to nurse my son for 26 months, but we never went back to the market!

I'm now nursing my second child, and despite the awkward moments and accidental "flashing" of gawkers, I think breast feeding is the perfect thing while traveling with baby.

 

Feeding from an Angel submitted by Lisa S.

My husband and I were shopping for furniture in an Oriental store on a Saturday afternoon. We had our 3 boys, 8, 4 and 14 monthes old with us. I was testing out the furniture and my husband was looking at some pictures when the cashier of the store said to me, "um Ma'am, your son is over there suckling on the breast of that angel statue". Oh my, I was so embarrassed,I ran and got our son and took him out of the store while my husband paid for the sofa that we wanted.

 

I ApologizeFor My Son submitted by Katharine D.

When I was flying for the first time with my baby I decided to just bring a cover up and wear nursing clothes rather than pump. I thought is was easier than trying to get the breast milk through TSA and security. I got many of the usual looks while breastfeeding with a blanket draped over me but one man in particular would just not stop. He seemed to be going through contortion trying to get a peek under the blanket. My husband was really getting angry and was about to go confront this guy when his elderly mother came over and said "I must apologize for my son.I didn't breast feed, it was out of fashion in my day, and now look at him- a slobbering mess at the slightest hint of exposed breast. Don't take it personally, he can't even have a conversation with a woman without staring at her breasts. I think what you are doing is lovely, keep up the good work". My husband and I sat in shock for a few seconds at what this lady said and then busted a gut laughing.Her son turned bright red and thankfully moved FAR away from us.

 

Hold Your Fire submitted by Shonita M.

It started off as a typical 3 a.m. feeding. I hear my son restless in his crib. I walk over and pick him up. We then get settled into the rocking chair. By this time he is more than ready to be fed but still only half awake. He finally latches on and the milk is flowing. Wait he decided he wasn't quite comfortable. Once he removed himself from my breast, milk sprayed everywhere. My little boy was ambushed. H is little eyes sprouted wide open. His head going side to trying to get out the line of fire. I put my hand over breast to block the milk from getting everywhere. My baby thinking he was safe stopped dodging fire and came back to eat. I move my hand and once again he is under attack. He let out the loudest cry I had ever heard. My husband comes into the room and sees what is happening, shouts hold your fire.

 

Back-To-School Night submitted by Michelle H.

I am the mother of a large brood of kids, am am currently breastfeeding our baby boy. He is thriving and I truly feel that breast is best.

I have had my share of embarrassing experiences, however, and one in particular stands out in my mind. In fact, when I speak of it, my face gets hot and my cheeks turn red.

Around 6 1/2 years ago, two of our daughters had a Back-To-School Night at their high school.The school split up each class period into sessions and my husband and I had to split up with our daughters in order to visit each teacher. I went with our older daughter and carried our baby girl, Rachel, in my arms. In between, class visits, I had to nurse Rachel and I found a discreet place. I covered myself with a blanket and began nursing the baby, when the bell rang for the next teacher's session. I carried Rachel and continued to nurse with the blanket covering her, and approached the door to Krystle's next class. As the teacher walked out of the door to greet us, a strong wind came and at the same time, Rachel grabbed the blanket. I was completely exposed to Krystle's teacher. I grabbed the blanket as fast as I could, the teacher looked surprised, and Krystle nervously said, "Momma!" Needless, to say, I told my husband that fromthen on, no matter what, he gets that teacher on Back-To-School Nightif our other kids have him as a teacher.And two of them already have.

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